


Birthday Boy

by Spideypoolhell



Category: Deadpool - Fandom, Marvel, Spider-Man - Fandom, Spiderman - Fandom, spideypool - Fandom
Genre: Date Night, Deadpool hates Spiderman, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Humour, M/M, Peter cannot hold himself back from his crush any longer, Peter's a horny teenager, Spiderman loves Deadpool, Spideypool - Freeform, Wade ain't having it, Yikes, but Peter is a minx, but damn, it's his 18th birthday, reverse au, reverse spideypool, so cute, spiderminx, which is Deadpool
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-02
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-07-11 20:31:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7068943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spideypoolhell/pseuds/Spideypoolhell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>REVERSE SPIDEYPOOL FIC! Spiderboy asks Deadpookie out on a date. It turns out to be Peter's 18th birthday, and he is an eager beaver to do some very smutty, adult things with Wade. Wade strongly declines, he hates Spiderman, such an annoying kid... and yet... so cute... Smut warning,  age difference warning, although I'm not really for that and am gonna discuss this very interesting and relevant topic in the spideypool fandom in my notes and comments. Role-reversal: the merc with no mirth and your obnoxious, neighbourhood Spiderman</p>
            </blockquote>





	Birthday Boy

**Author's Note:**

> OK, I wrote this fic a while ago and didn't want to post it because it felt kind of weird. People were vomiting over Tom Holland and Ryan Reynolds being paired up. (This fic is NOT based on RR and TH AT ALL, this is a role-reversal AU).
> 
> YET the whole reason I wrote it is because I love the idea of Peter being a horny, gay teenager that can't contain himself around Deadpool. Liike, I could have made Peter older, but I think an older and wiser Peter Parker would be no fool to Deadpool. A young Peter Parker that is completely trusting, and silly and naive was fun to write. A huge part of the reason why he has such a big crush on Wade in this fic is because he is young and stupid, also this is an au so I can magically make the characters do or be anything. 
> 
> When I turned 18 my goals were to screw older men in their thirties, well actually, I only screwed one because he was sweet and ended up becoming my boyfriend. Although it took a year of me trying to seduce him because he didn't feel right about the age difference. I was so young and eager, I just wanted a SERIOUS adult man (who was also a goofball).
> 
> The whole point of sharing my own life experiences is that I'm not really against age differences, as long as the people involved are fully CONSENTING ADULTS. I totally get that it can become really creepy. And the whole 'barely legal' thing is icky to me, bleeh. I didn't want this fic to be creepy, I wanted it to be funny. 
> 
> SO let me know what you think! Because the important thing is discussion.
> 
> ALLLSOOO, suggested rape warning? But no rape happens, just Spidey and DP saving the day, all the time.

Deadpool had just finished sniping his hit, he put away his gun feeling satisfied.

“Waaade!” Spiderman jumped on Deadpool out of nowhere. He wrapped his strong, lithe legs around Deadpool's body, pinning his arms to his sides. Spiderman threw his arms around Deadpool's neck and started kissing the nub on the top of his mask.

“Spiderman.” Deadpool grumbled.

“I finally found you! So, guess what? Tomorrow I want to go out on a date with you! I know, you've been asking me for ages, well I finally caved.” Spiderman was delirious with joy and delusional. Deadpool told him he hated him at least every other time they saw each other.

“I have never asked you on a date,” Deadpool narrowed the white eyes of his mask. He would have shaken off Spiderman but the spider was very strong and very determined to keep him in his grasp.

Deadpool could feel Spiderman's huge smile pressing into the top of his head. Spiderman played with Deadpool's mask nub, pinching it and letting his finger circle it.

“Don't be shy, we've had the whole will-they-won't-they thing going on. Well, tomorrow everything changes, baby! Let's go on a date!” Spiderman started smooching the top of Deadpool's head.

Deadpool tried his best to break free but it was useless against Spiderman. “Auuuugh, NO!......But why does everything change tomorrow?” He tried to use his shoulders to shrug Spiderman off but it was no good.

“It's a secret. I've tried so hard to resist you, but tomorrow night,” Spiderman leaned in and whispered into Wade's ear, “I'm all yours.”

“Why..the hell,” Deadpool was trembling trying to break free of Spiderman who wasn't even breaking a sweat, “would I...go on a date..with you?”

“Shhh, you know you want me, don't question it, just let it happen, babe,” Spiderman shushed Deadpool with a finger to his mouth, “do this for me and I'll do anything you want.”

“Anything I want?” Deadpool could think of a few things he wanted Spiderman to do, like stay the fuck out of his way. Deadpool had been living in New York for several months and it seemed like every other merc gig he had got interrupted by Spiderman. He'd be about to cut a bitch and Spiderman would distract him and make terrible jokes while his target got away. Then Spiderman would latch onto him and Deadpool wouldn't be able to move because the spider wouldn't budge. Or, Deadpool would be about to shoot his targets and Spiderman would leap out of nowhere and knock everyone out while dodging every bullet at the same time. Then Spiderman would usually point his fingers like they were guns and pretend to blow on them, tucking them back in their imaginary holsters while winking at Deadpool. Wade had too many hits foiled by Spidey and it was starting to impact his bank account, which pissed him off to no end.

“How about if I go on a date with you and then you stay the fuck away from me?” Deadpool finally managed to pry Spiderman off. Spiderman fell on his butt but was up again in less than a second slinging his arms around Wade's neck. His big, white bug eyes gazed into the tiny, white slits of Deadpool's mask.

“Really? YES! I want you all to myself tomorrow from 6pm to as late as possible,” Spiderman burrowed his head into Deadpool's massive, muscular pecs, “and then... I'll do ANYTHING you want,” he threw back his head, fake gasping, swooning, and moaning, “also I want us to go out as our real selves, no masks.” Spiderman took his hands away from the back of Wade's neck and ran his fingers down his chest, Wade just stood there motionless, not bothering to stop him. Spiderman moved his face closer and whispered seductively at him, “show me your face and I'll show you mine.”

“Hah, no problem,” Wade was pleased. Spiderman would be freaked the fuck out by his scarred face and would leave him alone for good. Piece of cake, why didn't he think of that sooner? Still, he was reluctant to just whip off his mask right here and now and say “boo” even though that would probably scare Spiderman away once and for all.

“Yesss! Can I have your cell so I can text you?” This was not the first time Spiderman had asked.

“No.” Wade tried to not sound amused.

“Fiiine, meet me at 6 pm tomorrow in front of Forest Park,” Spiderman pressed two fingers to his lips and then reached out to put them on Wade's frowning mouth, He turned around to hop away, stopping to wiggle his butt, “play your cards right and you might just get this,” he smacked his booty.

“I don't care how cute your butt is, you are annoying as fuck. How am I supposed to know who you are when I see you anyway?” Deadpool was trying very hard to convince himself he was not looking forward to this.

“EEEEE! HE SAID MY BUTT WAS CUTE! I'll wear my Deadpool hoodie tomorrow, how will I know you when I see you?” Spiderman posed with his butt sticking out, one hand on his hips and a finger on his lips. He had never seen all of the merc's face but he had seen a few of Wade's body parts from battles. He couldn't find any good pictures of him on the internet. He strongly suspected his scars covered his entire body but didn't want to make any assumptions.

“Because it will be the most fucking terrifying face you'll have ever seen in your life.” Deadpool's grin was showing through his mask and he turned around and walked away. Spiderman just stood there staring after him, admiring his ass and the way the muscles in his back moved. He shivered and felt goosebumps all over his body.

“I can't wait!”

 

The next day Wade felt anxious and nervous from the moment he woke up. He hated Spiderman, so why was he meticulously cleaning his entire apartment? He knew he wasn't going to get lucky after showing off his ugly mug, but, still, he wasn't above fantasizing about Spiderman's ass. If only he could get him to shut up he might not be so bad, maybe if he gagged him...

Wade tried to shake these thoughts away. An idea blossomed in his mind and he grinned. He was going to get Spiderman a gift that would send a pointed message.

 

At 6pm Peter was full of excitement, he kept checking his phone in front of the park even though he didn't have Wade's number and Wade probably forgot his (Spiderman would constantly tell Deadpool his number but Deadpool would never put it into his phone). He had put on his tightest pair of blue jeans and most form-fitting white t-shirt, He kept the Deadpool hoodie on even though it was a hot summer day and he really wanted to take it off.

Peter felt a presence move in front of him and he looked up slowly to see a man with scars marring every feature of his face towering above him. The black hood draped over Wade's head made the scene even more dramatic, although there was nothing remarkable about the loose hoodie and jeans Wade wore. Wade gave Peter a wide-eyed look and a half-smirk which he hoped was scary as fuck.

“Wade!” Peter squealed and stood on the tips of his toes to hug him. After several moments of hugging him without being hugged back he pulled away, placing his hands on Wade's shoulders.“Oh my god, you look soooo cool, totally bad ass scars,” Peter was beaming with joy and looking at him with sparkling eyes, “ooooh you look so dangerous yet vulnerable, sooo-oo hot,” Peter looked up at Wade coyly and blushed.

“What. The fuck.” Wade just stared at him looking amazed and concerned for his well being.

“My name is Peter, Peter Parker,” Peter shook his lifeless hand, “I wanted to tell you my name so many times, it was so hard not to. I waited until the face reveal because I thought it would be kind of romantic,” Peter looked down smiling, holding his hands behind his back.

Wade squinted his eyes looking suspiciously at Peter. Without meaning to he grabbed Peter's chin to tilt it upwards which made Peter shudder, close his eyes and pout his lips.

“Wait, wait. What the hell, how old are you? You look like a baby boy.” Wade drew his hand away quickly.

“Mmm, call me baby boy,” Peter opened his eyes, disappointed that the kiss wasn't happening. “Alright, here's my secret: today is my 18th birthday! That's why I didn't bang you sooner, I wanted to wait until I was all hot and legal for you, although maybe I should have just gone for it sooner. What do you think?” Peter's voice had lost it's confidence, he was hoping that him being so young would be all forbidden and sexy but he wasn't feeling that from Wade's look of shock.

“Are you. FUCKING KIDDING ME? Arrrrrgh, what the FUCK, Parker! GOD DAMN!” Wade was running his hands over his head and pacing, “this is not right. Are you saying I've been admiring a fucking kids' ass this entire time? This is so fucking disgusting.” Wade buried his face in his hands, wanting to stab someone.

Peter was bouncing up and down with joy, “YESSS! I knew you loved my ass! My tush is all legal now! Oooh, Oh, and I love it when you call me Parker and.... I've always wanted an older boyfriend. I finished high school over a month ago. All the boys there were so young and stupid. I want someone more .. Experienced,” Peter drawled out the word experienced. Wade just had to take a moment and look at him dumbfounded.

“I'm leaving,” Wade hurriedly walked away.

“Wade! Please!” Peter quickly hugged him from behind and held him in his death grip. “It's my birthday. I could have spent it with anyone else in the world but I wanted to spend it with you. I like you soooo much, Please just spend a few hours with me, I know you're too cool for me but just humour me on my birthday, pleeease?” Peter fake sobbed.

Wade couldn't help smiling, sighing and shaking his head. He put his hands on Peter's, which were trying to feel at his abs and gently pried them off. He turned around to look Peter in the face.

“What is wrong with you? I'm way too old and way too hideous to even be seen with you,” Wade couldn't help but smile kindly at Peter's precious face. Those big, brown eyes, that soft, brown hair. It took all of Wade's will power to not reach out and run his fingers through that hair.

“Wade, I love your smile so much,” Peter held onto Wade's hands, their eyes bore into each other, “your smile is the best birthday gift I could have ever asked for,” Peter cooed.

Wade couldn't help but snort. Oh no, he was laughing. He was doubled over laughing his ass off. “That's pretty fucking hilarious, I gotta say,” his hands were on his knees and he was cackling.

“I made him laugh... So wonderful...” Peter's hands were on his heart and his eyes were glazed over.

Wade wiped a tear from his eye and reached into his pocket, “as it turns out I got you a birthday gift without even knowing it. Here you go, you bag of dicks,” Wade offered him a plastic bag full of rainbow, dick-shaped gummies he had bought from a specialty candy shop.

Peter pressed his palms together in front of his lips and squealed before taking the gift. “Oh Wade, it's prefect. Thank you! Is this supposed to represent all the dick I'm getting later tonight?” Peter raised an eyebrow and smiled at Wade. Wade had an easy time brushing off Peter's flirts when he was Spiderman and wore a mask, but when Peter looked up at him with his pretty face so seductively Wade had to gulp and stop himself from flushing.

“NO.” Wade was trying to hide his face in his hood but couldn't keep his eyes off Peter.

“Never say never, you know you love me,” Peter made kissy faces at Wade.

“Goddamn it, I hate you,” Wade said despite reddening and smiling at Peter.

“So why does it sound so hot when you say it?” Peter latched on to his arm and they walked down the street.

Wade didn't shrug him off but he put his hands into his pockets. “What did you want to do for your birthday, anyway?”

“I dunno, I thought we could decide together,” Peter reached into his bag of dick candy and started eating them. They were tiny enough to be eaten in one bite but he sucked them between his lips, looking silly and cute.

“It's your birthday, kid, don't make me choose what we should do.” Wade had to look away, it was too ridiculous.

“But I want you to decide! Also, we look crazy cute with these hoodies but I can't bear the heat any longer!” Peter flamboyantly took off his hoodie while sticking his chest out. Wade couldn't help staring at the lean body and muscles glued to the slightly sweaty white shirt, making every line traceable, “aren't you hot?” Peter ran his finger down Wade's back, feeling the heat.

“I'm fine..” he shivered and wanted to say 'don't touch me' but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

“Well, let's get something to eat first since I haven't had dinner. What do you want?” Peter skipped next to him, eating his candy.

Wade stopped and looked at a nearby hot dog vendor, “street meat?”

“Oh, I'll eat your meat on the street,” Peter was the worst flirt ever.

“What the hell does that even mean? Do you want a hot dog or not?” Wade was so done.

“Yes please!” They got hot dogs. Peter tried to eat his hot dog as sexily as possible but he just looked ridiculous licking around the wiener.

Wade couldn't even deny how funny Peter looked and he was blushing and giggling. Wade choked himself on his hot dog to try to stifle his laughter but ended up leaning over and coughing.

“So where do you want to take me? What do you want to do with me? I think we should play,” Peter looked up at him and finished eating the rest of his hot dog.

“Play what? What are you talking about?” Wade kept losing his nerve around a freaking teenager and it was intimidating him to no end. He tried to remain a cold, unfeeling jackass but his heart was pounding and he kept staring at Peter's eyes and lips.

“You fill in the blank. You decide what we are going to...Play,” Peter had many ideas of things he could play with Wade.

“OK... Actually, I have an idea,” Wade walked in a new direction with purpose, Peter joyously trailed behind him.

 

Wade took them to a bowling alley and Peter was ecstatic. “How did you know I was awesome at bowling?” They got bowling shoes and Peter set up their game.

“Oh yeah? Well prepare to get smoked,” Wade challenged him, grinning evilly.

“Mmm, smoke me,” Peter's expression was equally assertive.

They both knocked down every single pin. Strike, after strike. Wade was starting to lose his cool, it would only take him one pin to set him behind Peter and there was no way he was going to let that kid win. Not to mention the fact he was getting distracted by Peter's body every time he threw his bowling ball, always in perfect form. The way his ass bent, how the muscles in his arms stretched out, and his back... Fuck, Wade had it bad and he wanted to shoot himself for it.

“Sorry to do this to you, Wade, but it is my birthday, and I have spider powers which kind of makes it impossible for me to not hit every pin,” Peter looked at Wade innocently and dropped the bowling ball behind him over his shoulder. The ball moved ever so slowly but still managed to knock down every pin.

Wade was still tying with Peter's perfect score but he was getting anxious about slipping up. Peter drove him crazy by always making everything look so effortless. He was more than jealous of his super strength and it made him furious to know that a teenage kid was stronger than he was. A light bulb turned on above Wade's head. His clothes were baggy and didn't do much to show off his muscular form. However, underneath the hoodie he only had on a thin, white, sleeveless undershirt. Wade threw off the black hoodie.

Peter gawked at his ripped body and the definition of his bare arms and chest, his eyes and heart were ready to burst out of him. Without Wade's long hoodie to cover him Peter could see his baggy pants hanging halfway down his ass, his black boxer-briefs moulding to the contours of his perfectly chiselled ass. Wade made sure to stretch out all his arm muscles and stick out his ass as far as possible as he rolled another perfect strike.

“You're up, Spiderbitch,” Wade lowered his gaze and smiled at Peter. Peter felt like he was desperately in need of water, and air, and Wade's cock in his face. Then Wade got hot and bothered looking at Peter's red face, Peter was biting his lip like he was about to cum. Wade cursed himself.

Peter went to go roll another strike but instead of bowling pins all he saw in his sex-starved brain were penises. The ball pathetically tumbled out of his hand and Peter had his first gutter ball. He didn't have a single moment to feel bad for himself because Wade practically jumped while whooping and cheering. Seeing that made Peter extraordinarily happy.

They both relaxed a little and had a lot of fun. They checked each other out constantly but Wade wasn't letting it trip him up anymore and neither was Peter. They came pretty close to a tie but Wade won by a few points and seeing Wade so joyous about kicking his ass made Peter even more delighted than he could have imagined. He couldn't wait to let Wade beat his ass in other ways. They had finished their game and soon left the bowling alley.

“So, what now? It's still early,” Wade was trying to ignore the fact that he couldn't remember the last time he had so much fun and was telling himself Peter was still holding him hostage. He wasn't the one furthering the date, nope, not at all.

Peter was so glad Wade hadn't covered up his arms yet, he grabbed one of them with both hands and let his head droop onto Wade's shoulder, “I love your scars, they are so kinky, they turn me on like you have no idea, I want to lick each one of them,” Peter was trying to be bold and get the sex party started, but he was too nervous to say this while looking Wade in the eyes, his face was turned down, blushing.

Wade laughed, allowing Peter to trace a few scars with his fingers, “you are a total fucking freak, kid,” he meant to sound sarcastic but it came out a little more rough and sexy than he'd hoped.

“I can't wait to show you how much of a freak I am, baby,” Peter spoke a good game, but only gathered enough courage to kiss Wade's cheek instead of his mouth.

“OK, stop, you're a freaking baby,” Wade sighed, “if you don't pick some wholesome kid-friendly activity then I gotta go,” Wade put his hoodie back on, throwing the hood over his face.

“No! Don't go! Let's... Let's go to Manhattan, take a romantic walk through Central Park?” Peter pleaded, using all the powers of his puppy eyes on Wade. Wade's face looked almost frightened as he stared wide-eyed at Peter. Wade's mouth was crooked, forcing a grimace but wanting to smile.

Peter brushed his hand over Wade's face, his thumb gliding over his lips. Wade automatically bit Peter's thumb without thinking, Peter whimpered and wobbled into Wade. Wade grabbed the hand that Peter had touched him with and gripped it hard while dragging him away.

“SO, let's go to that park...” Wade walked as fast as possible, not looking back.

Peter was cherishing the moment. Wade was holding his hand, he didn't say anything, lest he break the spell. They hailed a taxi and spent a long time stealing glances at each other and smiling throughout the ride.

 

Central Park was kind of spooky and dark at night but being two super powerful people they did not give a damn and leisurely strolled and adventured through it. Peter had been chatting at Wade non-stop about his life and his friends, how high-school had been, how he was going to University in the fall and had really wanted to take chemistry but his current passion was photography and journalism so he was taking a program in those areas. Wade usually just wanted him to shut the fuck up but he couldn't help memorizing every word Peter said to him. Wade felt like his heart was somewhere between exploding with desire and tearing in half because he knew Peter was too young, pretty and perfect to have any use for him really.

“Let's wander off the path a bit...” Peter took Wade's hand and held it tightly. Wade's heart was racing thinking about what Peter might try to do to him in a more secluded place under the cloak of darkness. He couldn't believe he was just going to let some kid drag him off and have his way with him. If Peter initiated it then Wade might not feel so bad about it. Wade wanted to grab him and shove his hands down Peter's pants, but, Peter was really way too young even if he did just technically become an adult. Peter would move on and Wade would be left feeling weird and like a monster and he didn't need that on top of all his other issues.

Peter had his own plans. They were shattered however when they came upon a scene of a smaller man resisting a much bigger man's advances. The younger man was sobbing and saying no over and over again. Peter raced over to handle the situation but Wade yanked on his hand to stop him.

“It's your birthday, let me handle this,” Wade said darkly and strode over.

Wade grabbed the offender off the helpless boy, lifting him up by the shirt collar. He punched him in the gut, knocking the air out of him.

“No means no, you fucktard,” Wade could have killed him but he didn't want to scare Peter or the boy that looked even younger than Peter, so he just punched the consciousness out of the would be rapist.

“OK, here's what you're going to do kid, you're going to take a picture of this man's face, and you're going to report him to the police to make New York a little bit safer. So, y'know, people like Spiderman can have one less fucker to deal with and can maybe even get around to having an actual life. My friend here will give you his number and can testify as a witness if need be,” Peter consoled the boy and called the cops for the traumatized youth. The young boy thanked them and but wouldn't stay and let them help him, he called a friend before running off. Wade pulled a marker out of his pocket and wrote RAPIST in big black letters on the man's forehead, along with a dick on each cheek. Peter tried not to laugh at this because it really wasn't a funny situation but Wade had made it kind of funny.

Wade looked pleased with himself and he let Peter take his arm as they walked away, “I can't believe you called me your friend. I'm so happy we can be friends! And you're my hero! Well, that boy's hero! Ooooh, Mr. Wilson, you are my knight in shining spandex,” Peter praised him ecstatically. The whole scene had made him swoon over Wade, despite how disturbing it had been seeing someone almost get assaulted.

“I'm nobody's hero...” Wade mumbled, “and don't call me Mr. Wilson, you sound like Denis the Menace.”

“OK, but can I call you Wilson and you call me Parker? Because I'd love that,” Peter smiled at Wade who couldn't help smiling back.

“Alright, Parker,” Wade rolled his eyes.

“Seriously, Wilson. You might not call yourself a hero but remember that time you rescued me? I'll never forget, I fell so hard for you,” Peter swooned. Wade laughed.

“Heh, you didn't even need rescuing, you were just playing at being the damsel in distress,” Wade could recall the moment vividly since it only happened a month ago.

 

Deadpool could have just ignored the situation: Spiderman was bound in ropes that he could have no doubt broken free of. He was being held hostage by a group of second-rate criminals. Ones that seemed to think Deadpool was Spiderman's partner for god knows what reason and that they could actually use Spiderman as leverage to get money from him. Wade could have just walked away and let Spiderman fend for himself but he didn't. Instead he beat the crap out of everyone there. A bug-eyed Spiderman had watched the scene on his knees with his hands tied behind his back.

The only person Wade left conscious was the obvious leader of the gang. He had his gun in his mouth and had broken his arms, “I want you to know the only reason you are alive right now is because Spiderman is a fucking idiot who wants you to live. If you ever cause him or me trouble again I will kill you, that's a promise,” Deadpool knocked him out.

Deadpool looked towards Spiderman “You didn't need my help, you could have broken out of those ropes ages ago. If I had killed those people their blood would have been on your hands,” Deadpool said to Spiderman, not bothering to help him.

“But you didn't. You didn't kill them. You did it for meee!” Spiderman had purposely wanted Deadpool to rescue him because he was so hot when he was fighting. Deadpool turned to go. “Wait! Deady! I need your help!” Peter rolled around on the ground tied up in ropes.

“You don't need me to help you,” Deadpool left.

“I do! Well, I thought we could leave these ropes on for fun and you could carry me back to your place! Wait! DP come baaaack!” Spiderman got up and toppled over watching Deadpool disappear.

 

Peter and Wade played this over in their heads as they walked out of Central Park.

“Heh, you don't want to call yourself a hero, that's fine. I know you have a huge heart lurking under those perfect pecs, Wilson.” Peter smiled lovingly at Wade who looked away and blushed.

“Whatever, kid. If I have a heart it's the one part of me that can't magically come back to life. Anyway, isn't it past your bedtime?” Wade didn't really want the night to end but he knew he needed to get away as fast as possible from Peter before his feelings got the better of him and he, god forbid, kissed him.

“Dont worry, my Aunt May knows I'm on a date tonight with my crush and isn't expecting me to come home tonight,” Peter could tell Wade was blushing and wasn't letting him go that easy, “hey, why don't we just relax and go watch a movie at your place,” he dropped his seductive tone for a moment so Wade wouldn't lose his nerve.

“I guess... We could do that,” Wade felt embarrassed, he rubbed his head and Peter jumped for joy.

They hailed a cab. Peter and Wade were so excited and nervous, Peter who usually wouldn't shut the fuck up couldn't think of anything to say during their ride, but he grabbed Wade's hand in the car and the merc held his back, Peter wanted to bang him right then and there.

 

After they got out of the car they just stood on the sidewalk and gazed at each other, Peter went to kiss Wade but Wade held him back, “Peter, listen, I think... Maybe.... We could be friends? You're waaaay too young for me, I'm in my thirties for fuck's sake. Well, I haven't aged a day since this shit happened to me in my late twenties, but we are world's apart. I get it, you're a horny teenager, and I don't blame you for wanting to get head on your birthday, or whatever the hell it is you want from me. Listen, once you go to University you're going to meet a lot of hotter, younger men and you aren't going to think about me at all. So let's just drop this whole flirting act and maybe we could try to be friends instead?” Wade felt so many emotions, he was starting to really like Peter and part of him wanted to fuck him and the other part just wanted to get to know him.

Peter's eyes were shining, “Wade... I would love to be friends, but, but, but...” Peter bit his lip, “Birthday boy wants cake,” he whined.

“Let's go get you cake then,” Wade smiled warmly, “there's a bakery near my place that's open late, it's really good too,” Peter had gotten a cake from his Aunt May earlier and his best friend and neighbour MJ had given him a few cupcakes but he didn't mention that.

“You know, it's really not my fault I'm so young. Marvel paints me as the Archie Andrews of superheroes and makes me an eternal high-schooler. Well I'm done with that and I am finally an adult, dammit!” Peter vented his frustrations to Wade and they both just laughed.

The bakery was very pretty and Peter stared longingly at everything, “should I get a vanilla cake with lemon curd or a chocolate raspberry cake?” Peter couldn't decide.

Wade spoke to the store clerk, “I'm going to buy both of those cakes,” The attendant laughed and happily complied. Two cakes, Peter was falling deeper in love with Wade almost every moment it seemed.

“Here's your cakes, birthday boy,” Wade looked down at him and smiled, Peter's heart melted.

“Oh, it's your birthday? I have some candles and matches I'd give to you for free if you need them,” The clerk put it on top of the box and they thanked her and she wished Peter happy birthday.

 

They both had ridiculous grins plastered on their faces as they walked to Wade's apartment. When they got there Peter loved how quaint it was; it was a small apartment with a combined kitchen and living room with no dining table, but it had a small kitchen island with some stools. It was surprisingly clean and cozy and Peter was already imagining spending many nights in it with Wade.

Peter sat down at the counter and Wade set out the cake, placing a ring of candles in it. Peter hurriedly got up to dim the lights because apparently that was important. Wade lit the candles.

“Are you going to sing me happy birthday?” Peter's said excitedly and clasped his hands.

Wade sighed, “are you fucking kidding me? Fuck... Alright...” Wade grumbled the song in a low, annoyed voice, “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear... Spiderman, happy birthday to you.”

Peter burst out into laughter before blowing out the candles.

“That was the funniest rendition of happy birthday I've ever heard. I loved it,” Wade cut into the cake trying not to scowl.

They ate cake and talked, “do you remember when we first met Wade? Hmmm, it was so romantic,” Peter sighed dreamily.

“Was it? You'll have to remind me,” Wade had a vague idea but didn't find anything about it romantic.

“I saw you on a bridge having a shoot out with some thugs, traffic was blocked everywhere and people were running out of their cars. You pushed a child out of the line of fire but ended up full of bullet holes as a result. Then you got pushed off the bridge-”

“Really not my finest moment, I wish you hadn't mentioned it,” Wade ate his cake, aggravated.

“So what you didn't know is after you fell I fought them and webbed those bitches up. Then I swung over the bridge and dove into the water, finding your lifeless body and carrying you ashore-”

“I don't think a pile of rocks counts as a shore, also I didn't think spiders did so well in water.”

“I tried to inspect your body to see the damage, I was going to lift up your mask to see if you were breathing but you grabbed my hand before I could touch your face and you startled the shit out of me! You were amazing, coming back to life like a miracle and shoving me away. I've never been so enchanted in my life,” Peter laughed and Wade couldn't help but smile tenderly at him.

Wade remembered waking up to the giant bug eyes, freaked out as well. He had run away while hearing Peter shout “Nice to meet you! I'm your friendly neighbourhood Spiderman!” Wade had heard of him before and looked back over his shoulder one more time before running off, afraid that Spiderman might try to apprehend him and get him arrested.

They finished eating cake and Wade took their plates away, “Wade, I know you think I'm too young for you, but I'm not. I lost my parents at a young age, and a few years ago I lost my uncle who had become more of a father to me than my original one. He was the best man I ever knew,” Wade saw Peter look sad for the first time and it made him want to hug him forever, “so that and the whole Spiderman thing has made me have to grow up a lot faster than most people do. I don't relate to anyone who is my age, really. I want to be with someone older, like you,” even though Peter had been flirting all night he started to feel extremely shy.

Wade didn't know what to say, deep emotional talks weren't his strength “how about that movie then? We can pick something off Netflix or you can look through my old pile of DVDS?” Wade showed him his stack of movies.

Peter scanned the movies. Wade brought Peter a bottle of white wine, “Since you claim to be so damn mature I think I'll let you indulge in a drink. This came in a gift basket from one of my clients for a job well done, but I don't drink alcohol since it doesn't affect me. I'll let you drink a quarter of the bottle over the course of the movie but then I'm cutting you off,” Wade looked serious.

“Aw, how did you know wine was my favourite booze? C'mon Wade, you think I haven't drank before? I'm a teenager,” Peter laughed as Wade poured him a glass that was the exact proportion that wouldn't cause any intoxication, Peter continued looking through his movies.

“You know what I haven't seen but need to watch? Fight Club, wanna watch it?” Peter grinned waving the movie at Wade.

“Are you fucking serious? Fight Club is a classic. It's been long enough that I'd be down for a re-watch. Also, Edward Norton is hot,” Wade handed Peter the glass of wine with a goofy grin on his face.

“Really? Edward Norton? I thought you'd be hot for Brad,” Peter smirked and raised an eyebrow.

“Nah, Brad doesn't do it for me, too pretty,” Wade put the movie on, Peter sat on the couch hoping he wasn't too pretty.

As the movie started Wade made them popcorn and put the bowl between them on the couch. Peter sighed, he happily drank his measly portion of wine and ate popcorn. Once the food and drink was consumed Peter put the offending objects to the side of the couch and snuggled up beside Wade. Wade was tense at first but relaxed as he realized Peter was too absorbed in the film to make a move and just wanted to hold his arm and drape his head on him. It was a nice feeling, Wade realized he didn't want the feeling to ever end and it scared him. There was no way having these feelings for a teenager who also happened to be Spiderman would ever end well.

Eventually the movie did end, Peter had greatly enjoyed it but now it was time for him to make a move. As the credits rolled Peter reached over to stroke Wade's face and make him look at him.

“There's one last thing we haven't done for my birthday...” Peter said sweetly and Wade couldn't help but smile back at his silly face.

“What?” Wade knew the answer already but wanted to hear Peter say it.

“Each other,” Wade took Peter's hand off his face and burst into laughter.

“Parker, you're crazy. And don't say something stupid in response like 'crazy for you', I know you're smarter than that. How can you look at my face and tell me that you really want me?”

Peter fixed his gaze on him intently, “Like this: I want you,” Peter threw his arms around Wade's neck and started to smooch him all over his cheeks, “love yer face,” he mumbled while kissing him.

Wade didn't know how to respond at first, he was too much in shock. He loved every moment of what was happening but regained enough sense to push Peter off of him, “there are so many reasons we can't do this.” They stared at each other, Wade turned away putting his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands.

Peter looked at Wade, thinking of how to change the situation. How to make Wade believe he was a consenting and very horny adult, even if he only just turned 18. He had been waiting what felt like ages to be with a big, strong man and it was driving him mad.

Peter donned his most seductive smile and voice, “there was one time I saw you and you didn't see me. A few months ago I stumbled upon you and hid out of sight. You were in an alleyway shoving your cock down some twink's throat. God, I've never wanted anything so fucking badly, I've been thinking about it while I touch myself every night since. Want you to be the one yanking my hair back and cumming on my face,” Peter took off his shirt and Wade just stared at his muscles embarrassed and flabbergasted.

“P-Peter, wait, let's not, let's...” Wade's put his hands up to protest, afraid to touch Peter. Wade's face was completely red, he was so embarrassed thinking about how he had paid a male prostitute to blow him when he was Deadpool and Spiderman had actually seen it. Willing his erection away was becoming a harder task.

Peter unbuttoned the top of his pants but then stopped, “I want to be friends, but I also want to be more than friends. I want to kiss you and then I want to do more than kiss you... But, I'll let you take over from here. My hard cock's getting uncomfortable though, maybe you could free it from these pants?” Peter was just as red in the face as Wade but he was smiling and biting his lip.

Wade didn't know what to do, “Peter you're a goddamn child! I'm not.. I'm a bad person, you shouldn't even be near me,” Wade tried to look away from Peter's straining erection but he couldn't.

“You know, for someone who claims to be a bad person with no morals you sure have a lot of morals. Well, you shouldn't have any moral scruples about being with a fully consenting, LEGAL adult. Please, just... Can't I have a birthday kiss?”

Peter leaned his face into Wade's and they both lost it, they grabbed at each others faces and kissed, shivering at the intensity of the heat and desire they felt. After many minutes of enjoying the exquisite pleasure of feeling Peter's soft lips kissing and sucking his Wade grabbed Peter by the wrists and pinned him down on the couch with his hands above his head, Wade got on top of Peter, straddling him but he let go of his wrists and sat up.

“You don't know what you are in for, Peter,” Wade was trying so hard to do the right thing. Fucking Peter would be wrong, but it felt so damn good to kiss him. Wade was always in control and Peter scared the hell out of him because he never felt like he was in control around him.

“Show me,” Peter whispered.

Wade grabbed him by the throat, lightly choking Peter with his hands but not hurting him, “is this what you want, Peter? The hands of a cold-blooded killer all over your perfect, innocent body?” Wade looked at him hard in the eyes, but Peter looked perfectly blissful.

“Is it weird that this is turning me on?” Peter gasped. A second later Wade removed his hands from his throat and was running them through Peter's hair, kissing him hard into the couch. Peter tried to reach his hands under Wade's clothes but the older man stopped him.

“Please, can I touch you? Or... you could handcuff me if you want to?” Peter said while Wade had his wrists pinned to his sides and was sucking at his neck.

“What makes you think I have handcuffs?” Wade said while smiling and biting Peter's ear.

“Oh please, you probably have red furry handcuffs, my spidey sense is tingling,” Peter started bucking his hips into Wade's.

“Actually, I do,” Wade admitted and laughed, “are you sure you really want this?” His voice was gentle, he looked into Peter's eyes reassuringly.

“Fuck yes. Mmm, I want you to cuff me and do whatever you want to me, use my body and make me yours. Want you to just grab me and fuck me,” Peter was pink all over his face, neck and chest. They were both rutting into each other.

Wade laughed with embarrassment from Peter's forwardness and slipped his large fingers between Peter's, kissing his nose lightly. The younger boy looked up at him with a giant grin. Wade wiped that grin away with hungry kisses, like a man dying of thirst in a desert. When Wade pulled back he had a very serious expression on his face, Peter's face was much less serious but they were both looking at each other like they were prey.

Wade was done with letting this kid run circles around him. He was in charge now, He hauled both of them off the couch and threw Peter into his arms, the younger man squealed with laughter. They kissed each other sweetly as Wade took him to his bedroom and he tossed Peter onto the bed playfully.

“So... Have you ever done this before?” Wade folded his arms and blushed, Peter was unbuttoning his pants and whipping out his cock to stroke it in front of Wade.

“I've been with girls, blown a few guys. I'm desperate to have my ass fucked,” Peter panted while shaking off his pants. Wade slowly took off his clothes and watched Peter intently as he got more visibly aroused seeing Wade's naked, large, muscled, scarred body. When Wade let his erection free Peter gasped and desperately grabbed onto it with his hands and mouth, they both moaned loudly. After a perfect minute of Peter having Wade's hard cock between his lips, Wade pulled his dick away. He cupped Peter's face and leaned down to kiss his lips tenderly. Peter whined and begged to keep sucking Wade off.

“Not yet, we haven't gotten around to you getting your sweet ass fucked,” Wade kissed his cheek before leaving momentarily to retrieve a pair of red, furry handcuffs.

Peter trembled and allowed Wade to cuff him, squealing as Wade picked him up and threw him further up the bed. Wade had cuffed Peter from the front so Peter could still hold Wade back if need be, but Peter kept his hands above his head the entire time. The next hour was spent with Wade touching and teasing Peter all over his body with his mouth and hands, eliciting moans when something felt good and laughter when Wade found Peter's tickle spots. He touched every part of his body before touching his erection, letting the poor boy gasp and beg for it.

Wade finally got around to tasting Peter's cock and Peter felt like he could sing to the heavens. Of course, after a few heavenly minutes of bliss Wade stopped before Peter could come. Then he grabbed Peter's thighs and spread them wide apart.

Wade gave Spiderman the first rim job of his life. Peter had never had such a good time, he made many noises as Wade fucked his ass with his tongue, then his fingers, and then finally, finally, they both swore as Wade slowly put his cock into Peter's ass.

Wade lost his mind while he watched Peter lose his own mind. Wade gently, and lovingly fucked into Peter so they wouldn't come too soon, but then Peter was bucking into him wildly and sitting up to throw his handcuffed fists around Wade's neck, pulling them both down into a heated kiss. Peter relished the feeling of Wade's scarred and textured cock moving inside him, as well as the hard bumpy muscles grinding against his cock as they pressed their bodies into each other. They came so loudly the whole apartment building probably heard it.

Peter panted, sighed, and then laughed. So happy, so fucking happy, and well fucked. “That was the best birthday present, ever!” Peter shouted.

Wade couldn't say anything, he had died and gone to heaven. Eventually, he caught his breath and gathered courage from some unknown resources to get some thoughts off his mind.

“Peter...I'm glad you had fun... You know between the two of us, you're in charge right? I'm not going to hold myself responsible for corrupting Spiderman. This was all your doing and you are calling all the shots, got it? Because if we're going to have amazing sex I need to let go of my guilt for wanting you and liking you so damn much.” Peter was smiling and touching Wade tenderly all over his body with his hands that were still cuffed. Wade had never felt so vulnerable and exposed. It took all his courage to look Peter in his beautiful, brown sparkling eyes and to tell him what he wanted, but it wasn't so bad with Peter's wonderful smile encouraging him. Wade finally realized Peter was still handcuffed and laughed before releasing him.

“You are in for a very fun ride then, mister,” Peter laughed and kissed Wade's face.

“OK, but if you're going to fuck an adult, you're going to have to act like an adult Mr. Parker,” Wade sassed, finally gaining some of Peter's careless confidence.

“Ooookay, but will you call me baby boy?” Peter gave Wade puppy eyes that Wade couldn't say no to.

“Mmmmaybe, but I don't want to fetishize your youth, I want a man, baby boy,” Wade kissed Peter's nose.

“Can I call you baby boy?” Peter was holding all of Wade in his arms and grinning like a dork.

“Hah! No.” Wade huffed, but he was smiling.

Peter bounced up ecstatically, “whatever, baby boy. Let's eat more cake!”

**Author's Note:**

> My favourite line in this is "You were amazing, coming back to life like a miracle and shoving me away. I've never been so enchanted in my life."


End file.
